Let us now have a look at Ziggy's paragraphs.
Remember, last week, Ziggy introduced identity in terms of
black African identity and spoke about the dehumanizing effects of colonization.
In his first paragraph here,
he goes on to identify himself as a proud black Zulu man and a
born-free that is someone born after the 1994 democratic elections in South Africa.
He uses his personal identity as an example to illustrate that identity is fixed.
He then traces the history of his ancestors in
the South African apartheid era and describes the erosion
of identity when they were forcibly removed from their homes.
He then demonstrates how in the post-apartheid era the Zulu people moved across
political and social boundaries and how despite
this erosion still proclaim their proud Zulu heritage.
While the idea of erosion does signal that identities change,
Ziggy still holds on to the idea of
a core Zulu identity that may get lost but not get transformed or be fluid.
This is good because this idea is consistent with
his thesis statement in the introduction that identity is inborn and fixed.
He writes, "One does not always need to cross
international borders to experience a loss or violation of one's identity,
as the story of my ancestors illustrates.
Identity is therefore at our core;
it is what holds us together as distinctive social groupings and
it's what gives us as individuals a sense of purpose in our lives.
(Woodward, 1997).
Ziggy's second paragraph looks much more broadly at
the global context and what happens when individuals move across national boundaries.
He could have strengthened the link between
the second paragraph and the previous one by adding a linking phrase
at the beginning of the second paragraph which then forces
the reader to consider what was stated in the previous paragraph.
For example, if we use the following linking phrase taking this further in
the broader context then the impression is
created that Ziggy is building on what he has said earlier.
This would read as follows.
"It took blood, sweat and many tears for
my family to establish a successful black-owned business,
and I am extremely cognisant of the types of sacrifices that were
made to get us here to once again proclaim our proud Zulu heritage.
Taking this further in the broader context of
our fast-paced and globalizing world we have reached a stage of
mobility that allows us to cross a number of borders
nationally on the continent and internationally in a matter of hours."
This second paragraph presents
an interesting and nuance view on what happens to identity as people move across borders.
Evidently here, Ziggy shows that border crossing
affects how individuals view and enact their identities.
This seems to contradict his previous position that
identities are fixed and can only get lost or remain the same.
So Ziggy might have to revisit that.
Also, Ziggy has not mentioned
Thornton who speaks quite a bit about the ways in which boundaries or
borders are constructed to deny or promote access to people from different groupings.
Thornton shows quite nicely how the meanings associated with
particular identities tend to change in the process of crossing borders.
Ziggy's use of Thornton would have created a strong link
with Sichone's arguments about xenophobia.
His third paragraph introduces the essay and
this could obviously have featured in the introduction as the roadmap.
"In this essay I draw on Woodward's (1997) theorising of identity and
Blommaert's (2005) concept of mobility
and what it means to move from one context into another."
If we view Ziggy's consolidated introduction now,
it presents quite a strong personal narrative with respect to
the theme of identity and the issue of black identity in particular.
Ziggy provides a nice context for the reader to
locate his views on identity in relation to the essay topic.
He introduces us to the authors and their work and the ways in which he
wishes us to engage with them around the question of identity and mobility.
Ziggy occupies a very strong position with
respect to the argument he wishes to put forward.
So in short, he provides quite a nice roadmap for the readers
here in terms of what he wants them to keep in mind as they read his essay.
So in terms of strength,
we would say that Ziggy's reference to
his personal experience and the local context gives
his essay social relevance and generates
more interests than a predictable or abstract discussion.