The final question would be your competency,
your ability to help.
Not if you're willing to help,
but if you are able to help.
And typically, people deduce your ability,
your competency from your credentials.
Like your positions at various institutions,
your achievements, awards, client list, I know etc.
etc. etc. etc. The problem with credentials,
the problem with starting your presentation with
a long list of your achievements is that would be bragging.
And I don't know about you but I hate bragging.
I hate to brag,
and I hate being bragged at and I know that I'm not alone.
There's a raft of academic research on that one.
People generally disdain bragging.
So, couple of solutions.
Thing number one, have somebody else to introduce you.
At lots of conferences they will do it anyway but in
less formal settings you sometimes would need to ask.
And I sometimes do ask to be introduced.
I ask the client, “Well,
could you please explain why did you invite me to talk here in the first place.” And they
make a much better job of selling me to the audience than me.
I mean, for me that would be bragging but
from them there would be just the reasonable thing to say.
So ask somebody else.
It really really works.
Solution number two, humblebrag.
I don't know if you've heard of humblebrag.
It's when you mix positive and negative information about yourself in the same statement.
Things like, it's hard for me to be a team player because I'm such a perfectionist.
Hard for me to be a team player,
and I'm such a perfectionist.
And of course humblebragging does work.
It is negatively correlated with liking,
perceived sincerity and well, perceived competence.
So all alone doesn't help to build trust.
But my question is well,
what's the difference between humblebragging and storytelling?
Because in storytelling we do the same thing.
We have some negative information about
the hero and then we have some positive information about the hero.
And in the end, positive information typically prevails.
Unless it's a tragedy.
In that case well,
don't do that presentation please.
So what's the difference?
Humblebragging and storytelling, and the difference is in intention.
Humble bragging is insincere and manipulative.
While storytelling is honest.
Well, at least good storytelling.
Perhaps, one of my favorite quotes about storytelling that,
“The story is a journey in search of truth.” You're trying to
find your own truth in the process of telling the story.
So, intention makes all the difference.
It's not how you say it.
It's not even what you say but it's why you say it.
If you say it with proper intention,
with intention to help,
in this particular context that would make all the difference.
Are you able to help?
This is the most crucial question of all.
Sometimes I share my client list,
with my audience but I'm not share my client list
to brag I'm share it because this is my experience.
This is something that I am bringing in the room.
I work with very few industries.
Although the industries are pretty big and I say well,
you see my approach is that it is important to understand what you are saying.
And these are industries that I understand really really well and then people find
familiar logos here and that you
know brings peace in their minds suddenly they know who I am and they know my experience.
People ask me all the time well,
what if I don't have any impressive achievements?
What if I have nothing to share?
Well, it doesn't matter.
Why are you here?
What's your intention to help and how can you help me?
Maybe all you did you know,
just read one book about I don't know, whatever,
quantum physics you are not a quantum physicist but you are sharing your insights,
you are trying to summarize this book to me and this is your intention to help.
And this is your experience.
And that makes us be on the same side in this particular conversation.
Maybe you need to admit the obvious.
Maybe you need to say those words,
“You know I may be the least experienced person here,
but I did spend weeks researching this and I think I've got
some pretty interesting insights on the subject.” The spurt you say after but,
has to be really good.
Well, work on it. Why are you here?
What work did you do?
What are you bringing to this room?
If you want to have a connection to the audience,
some connection being, this feedback loop.
You can ask the question.
It doesn't work in large audiences but it works perfectly
in smaller groups and sometimes I do ask, do want to know anything about me?
I don't want to waste your time.
Do you want to have you know this formal introduction.
And sometimes people say,
"Yeah, yeah, that would be nice."
And sometimes they say,
"I don't know it's not necessary just skip it.
Go ahead proceed with your material."
Which I do. So, sometimes this is just not a problem.
Maybe you can recall the question you're being asked all the time and answer it.
For example, people ask me all the time,
"How does one become a presentation coach?"
Did you finish a university or something, course on that?
Is it even a profession?
And this is a very reasonable question.
And I know lots of people in the audience might have this question.
And when I ask this question out loud,
I see them nodding and smiling.
And this is my permission to talk.
This is my permission to brag if you will.
But once again, it's not bragging,
I'm solving problems here.
I'm trying to build trust.
When I lecture, this works with students mostly.
I sometimes start my lecture with a question.
"Well, who am I to lecture you?"
Which seems like a reasonable question to ask and I see well some people smiling there.
And once again, this is my permission to talk.
So to conclude, a formula for trust would be character, motivation, competency.
And as far as I'm concerned,
my solution is come with intention to help and then announce and prove it,
with examples, with stories,
with your impressive achievements.
It doesn't matter, but do come with intention to help.
