And then I like this idea of a mobile web of sensors.
That's a really nice way of putting it.
So I'm going to kind of just start with their remotely controlled cockroaches and
go right into that idea.
So their remotely controlled cockroaches could someday,
I think I'm going to put the word someday because it's we're not there yet.
This is still preliminary, could someday serve as a mobile web of sensors.
And we don't need to repeat, that uses cockroaches, so we can get rid of that.
A mobile web of sensors that collect and transmit data.
And we've already got the idea of earthquakes in here, so I'm just going to
say collect and transmit data from hard to reach places, something like that.
And actually that idea of the survivors of natural disasters,
that’s a really compelling detail.
I'm going to leave that for the end of the piece so that we have something to end on
that kind of wraps it back to the beginning of the piece.
So this shortens up the first paragraph, just a little bit so we get right into it.
We don't get too much details, but we have a good picture in our mind of
what the researchers were trying to achieve here.
Then we go into the second paragraph.
Cockroaches have antennas.
I really appreciate, by the way,
that this author made a good effort to use dashes and semicolons and colons.
So it's nice to see that they obviously watched the videos and thought carefully
about it and try to implement some of these punctuation techniques.
So it always feels great for
a teacher to see somebody putting those things into action.
I'm going to change a few things.
So instead of dashes here, I think probably this is a little extra detail.
So I'm going to put it in parenthesis rather than dashes because maybe
the reader doesn't care what the antennas are actually called.
So cockroaches have antennas to sense I like that sense versus to sense.
But that can sense, that's a little stylistic.
We actually probably don't need the colon here.
I do, again, appreciate that they tried to use a colon.
But actually we can just go right into this it's a very simple list.
So, the colons actually not needed there.
So cockroaches have antennas called cerci that can sense
tactile temperature and humidity.
And one thing I just want to point out there,
there was a little bit of non-parallelism here.
So, temperature and humidity are nouns.
Tactile is actually an adjective.
So we want to make that parallel by making this first item in a list a noun,
so I'm going to call it a tactile input.
And then we get researchers.
And we might as well say the particular researchers.
So I'm just going to use their last names.
So those two researchers Latif and Bozkurt, I'm pronouncing that right.
