Okay, I'm wondering if this sort of, they probably do like very much intersect but
within that like, the interactional needs that are being met with that.
So maybe like if someone feels good about themselves based on how the interaction
itself has gone, or kind of what other social needs are being met through.
>> Yeah, I think this is really important.
One of the key ideas in psychological, emotional needs,
obviously is the need for self-esteem.
And I think it's actually at the core of a lot of sexual interactions and
sexual relationships.
I would say sexual relationships in particular.
What is involved is like how do I feel about myself?
Do I feel good about myself?
Do I experience myself as like a worthwhile person?
Am I being accepted, valued, loved?
And that is actually usually important in sexual relationships.
So whether you call this a psychological emotional need, or an interaction or
interpersonal or social need, we can certainly talk about it.
But I think it is important to recognize that.
And then obviously for some people, the self is rarely just
individual or personal, the self is always relational.
Some people believe that you can imagine a personal self,
but I think most theorists now would pay attention to or
emphasize that the self is more often than not relational.
So who you are, what you are.
It's not always stable and constant, but
different relationships will bring out different parts of yourself.
So in any sexual relationship, you may be seeking intimacy,
you may be seeking reciprocity, some people may be seeking domination.
But then your sense of self is always involved.
>> Okay, and kind of with that, what would be some
of those other interactional needs that people
are meeting within a sexual act, for example?
>> Well, I don't know.
Very often, like when two individuals are interacting and
they're interested in having a sexual relationship
they can be doing it for different purpose so to speak.
>> Right.
>> They're trying to meet different needs, right?
As I mentioned earlier some people may be doing this to
establish domination over another person, so the sexual relationship is
>> Okay.
characterized by power and domination but then for
other people, this is like probably a most effective way to establish intimacy.
Some people actually can use sex to make them feel better about themselves and
some people can use sex to make them feel more secure.
Some people feel valued and cared for in the act of sex,
and some people feel violated and damaged.
And I think a powerful example would be domestic violence,
or sexual violence between intimate partners, right?
So the sex act is performed to articulate power and
domination, or aggression rather than communication and intimacy.
And then the other thing that we unfortunately
still see a lot happening in society here and
elsewhere is the situation of rape or
other forms of sexual violence,
meaning that one person is doing something sexually with another person,
very often without consent.
So that is like a violation of the other person's boundary,
personal space, integrity and rights.
So it carries on social significance but it is
also emotionally damaging and obviously in situations like this with two parties or
more parties involved would obviously experiencing very different things.
A. Ka Tat TsangFounder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
