4.8 Compatibility: Characteristics & Capacity

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來自 University of Toronto 的課程

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

93 個評分

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

93 個評分

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

從本節課中

Module 4 - Building Relationships that Work for You

This module addresses relationship building based on communication, reception, and expression skills learned in Module 3. Additional topics on relationship problems will also be discussed.

4.6 Compatibility: Needs4:22

4.7 Compatibility: Circumstances2:54

4.8 Compatibility: Characteristics & Capacity4:19

4.9 Compatibility, Differences and Changes3:14

與講師見面

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

Okay, so what I'm hearing is as circumstances change,

the ability to really be compatible actually changes too.

So, we don't just start off compatible and always stay compatible without

essentially finding ways to deal with the changing life events in our relationship.

Is that right?

>> Yeah, I think you have actually got to the key point in this.

Yes, of course like circumstances change right?

If you imagine how a lot of like love stories start, right? You know

You have like a couple met in college, and

then like back then they we're like very compatible, because life circumstances is

pretty similar and then aspiration, social cycle and values and stuff.

But then as they move on in life like there can be significant career changes

that might even require resettling in another country for instance.

There may be changes like in a person's family circumstances and

you may have like a family member or an aging parent that you may need to take care of.

And then people's value can also change, you may

have like people who were sort of like politically

very compatible, and they are in college and as activist, you know, more left-leaning

and after 10, 12 years, they may be still politically together or

they might have gone very different pathways, right?

So, yeah, things do change.

So what it comes down as it's like when circumstances change, right,

our needs will change, right? And even who we are like

characteristics like values, politics, you know, might change.

And then the key challenge then is like how capable,

what capacity do we have to deal with these changes.

And the other thing of course is are we really interested in dealing with the changes.

So I think that would be like a personal characteristic.

Some people would say no, I don't really want to do

a lot of work here.

When something is making me uncomfortable, I'll just leave and

go on to another relationship, right?

For some people they are actually interested in

understanding the differences.

They may be interested in negotiating like a new way to work with those differences.

And one of the things makes all this discussion sort of like not

easy is that because relationship is not just something that is affected by changes.

Relationship, we believe, like in SSLD, we do believe if you

are good at managing, building a relationship.

The relationship itself can be an agent of change.

The relationship can cause change.

Some people actually they find a personality change,

their value system changes, and

when they're in a good relationship and they grow, and you know, they become better person.

Yeah, and so we do not just look at like how this changes and compatibility or

impacting the relationship.

We are also hoping that we will be learning skills and developing capacities

to deal with differences, to express ourselves more effectively,

to try to appreciate the other person better and

try to negotiate and find creative,

innovative ways of being together.

So that is I think the SSLD dream.

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