Okay, so that gives me a really good idea about how power fits into relationships. What about the concept of compatibility? >> Yeah, I think this is like very important for us to understand how this whole sequence of concepts link together, right? So we talk about power, and then obviously, like power has something to do with these ideas of fairness and equity. And then when you talk about fairness and equity, you're looking at some kind of balance in the relationship. And obviously, we want to be paying attention to compatibility. And when we look at compatibility, we're also actually implicitly asking the question of sustainability, of feasibility. Is it going to work? Right? So, and then, as we know in SSLD analysis, we will start with needs. >> The N3C. >> Exactly, yeah. So we will be starting with N3C, and the first thing is needs. So basically, when we have like two individuals that are attracted to each other, one of the things that we always speculate is that some kind of needs are being met either at a very conscious level or at like a not so conscious level. Someone may be like looking for some compensation of the lack of security that this person experienced as a child, and so this person wants to be in a very stable relationship. Some people are trying to sort of like compensate for the incomplete family that he or she had and was fascinated or obsessed with this idea of a healthy family. So you also have people who are like abused as a child, who got very confused and think that someone who is strong, dominating, and protective would be attractive, you know. And then, there are like people with a similar background really scared of people who are strong and like you know, dominating. So these different needs, right, will all be operated. And the problem is in a lot of situations, people are not even aware that they're driven by these needs. So it is really important, in the beginning phase of a relationship, for people to pay more attention to what needs are being triggered, like the need, compatible. And I just want to point out a few important processes from SSLD perspective. One is that there are always irrational needs. So we do not need to be worried about them, we just need to be more conscious of them and deal with them. The other thing is needs do change. And in an ideal situation, when you are involved in a good relationship, the relationship would actually help you grow and develop better understanding. You'll feel better about yourself, you become more capable of communicating your needs. And you've also become like more capable of understanding the needs of your partner, and both of you will grow. And then some of these needs will be met, and then when some of these needs are met, say for example, an insecure person having his or her security needs met, right? And then it will prepare this person to move forward and develop a stronger intimate relationship, and the person may also be more driven towards like self-improvement, and growth and all that. So the need profile of each participant, ideally, can also change and even improve, yeah.
