4.6 Compatibility: Needs

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來自 University of Toronto 的課程

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

103 個評分

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

103 個評分

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

從本節課中

Module 4 - Building Relationships that Work for You

This module addresses relationship building based on communication, reception, and expression skills learned in Module 3. Additional topics on relationship problems will also be discussed.

4.6 Compatibility: Needs4:22

4.7 Compatibility: Circumstances2:54

4.8 Compatibility: Characteristics & Capacity4:19

4.9 Compatibility, Differences and Changes3:14

與講師見面

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

Okay, so that gives me a really good idea about how power fits into relationships.

What about the concept of compatibility?

>> Yeah, I think this is like very important for us to understand

how this whole sequence of concepts link together, right?

So we talk about power, and then obviously,

like power has something to do with these ideas of fairness and equity.

And then when you talk about fairness and equity,

you're looking at some kind of balance in the relationship.

And obviously, we want to be paying attention to compatibility.

And when we look at compatibility, we're also actually implicitly asking

the question of sustainability, of feasibility.

Is it going to work? Right?

So, and then, as we know in SSLD analysis, we will start with needs.

>> The N3C.

>> Exactly, yeah.

So we will be starting with N3C, and the first thing is needs.

So basically, when we have like two individuals that are attracted to each

other, one of the things that we always speculate is that some kind of needs

are being met either at a very conscious level or at like a not so conscious level.

Someone may be like looking for some compensation of the lack of

security that this person experienced as a child, and

so this person wants to be in a very stable relationship.

Some people are trying to sort of like compensate for

the incomplete family that he or she had and was fascinated or

obsessed with this idea of a healthy family.

So you also have people who are like abused as a child,

who got very confused and think that someone who is strong,

dominating, and protective would be attractive, you know.

And then, there are like people with a similar background really

scared of people who are strong and like you know, dominating.

So these different needs, right, will all be operated.

And the problem is in a lot of situations,

people are not even aware that they're driven by these needs.

So it is really important, in the beginning phase of a relationship,

for people to pay more attention to what needs are being triggered,

like the need, compatible.

And I just want to point out a few important processes from SSLD perspective.

One is that there are always irrational needs.

So we do not need to be worried about them,

we just need to be more conscious of them and deal with them.

The other thing is needs do change.

And in an ideal situation, when you are involved in a good relationship,

the relationship would actually help you grow and develop better understanding.

You'll feel better about yourself,

you become more capable of communicating your needs.

And you've also become like more capable of understanding the needs of your partner,

and both of you will grow.

And then some of these needs will be met, and then when some of these needs are met,

say for example, an insecure person having his or her security needs met, right?

And then it will prepare this person to move forward and

develop a stronger intimate relationship, and the person may also be

more driven towards like self-improvement, and growth and all that.

So the need profile of each participant, ideally,

can also change and even improve, yeah.

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