[MUSIC] In many ways, self-awareness can be considered the linchpin of emotional intelligence. It enables the other aspects of self management, empathy, and social skills. Enhancing self-awareness is hard, yet it is crucial if you want to achieve leadership excellence. Professor Thomas DeLong of the Harvard Business School underlines the importance of self awareness when he states that a leader should be able to answer two key questions. One, how do people experience you? Two, how do people experience themselves when they are with you? He adds that many leaders struggle to answer these two questions. For instance, let us say that a subordinate approaches the front-line leader with a bright innovative proposal. The leader takes a hard look at the idea and then he starts to make modifications in the subordinate's proposal. And then hands it back. In the leader's mind, he has seriously considered the idea. And has used his expertise to improve the proposal. But the leader has no awareness that in the subordinate's mind, the leader had needlessly interfered and even tried to steal credit by trying to assume ownership of that innovative proposal. For those reasons, the subordinate has significantly lost interest in pursuing the idea. Perceptions are realities. For the leader, he is contributing and adding value. On the other hand, for the subordinate, the leader is interfering and being unappreciative. A wide divergence between others' perceptions and one's own perception reflects low self-awareness. Let's us go back to our two questions. How do people experience you? And how do people experience themselves when they are with you? In our case example, the leader had little self-awareness of how he was experienced by the other person. And what happened inside the subordinate during the interpersonal interaction. Managers get so focused on their tasks and priorities that emotional and relationship aspects become their blind spots. In our story, the manager was just not aware that while he may have improved the quality of the proposal by 10 to 15%, he may have reduced the direct reports motivation by 80%. Often there is little self-awareness of the impact of one's behavior. Daniel Goleman, an important top leader in the field of emotional intelligence, says that there are three competencies under the domain of self-awareness. Number one, emotional awareness. This refers to recognizing your emotions and their effects. Number two, accurate self-assessment. Which means you know your strengths and your limits, and number three, self-confidence. This reflects a strong sense of your self-worth and capabilities. Let us understand that these three aspects through a real life story. A leader in a staff position was required to initiate a significant change, and so she would hold a meeting with key stakeholders from the line functions. These staff professional put together and elaborate and detail presentation. But soon she has started to worry about the negative attitude and the likely resistance of the individuals in line functions to whom she had to make the presentation. At some stage she realized that her unproductive self talk and negative internal chatter in her mind were making her anxious and causing self-doubt. She became aware that her anxiety was making her feel insecure and defensive. Once she became aware of her anxiety, she approached a trusted colleague for a frank and open dialogue. The colleague asked her, what do you think would be the concerns of the line managers? Why would they be defensive? Is there a way to address their concerns? That was an aha moment for the staff professional. She realized that her anxiety was coming from her intuitive sense that the approach that she had chosen was inappropriate. Her original plan was to make it a tell and sell presentation. But she intuitively recognized the consult and participative approach would work much better. She realized that she must set up a process with more choices for line managers. Using the third person perspective, she saw that the proposed change was built on a foundation of strong, shared felt need. But for the plan to succeed, she must be open to accommodating the stakeholder's concerns. She modified her plan accordingly and with the new plan she felt confident and positive. In the story, the emotional awareness of developing clarity on her emotions and viewing herself from the third person perspective, led to accurate self assessment in terms of strengths and weaknesses of her approach. She could see that her new approach was congruent with her goals and priorities. Right through the process there was self honesty. And she examined the impact of her unproductive self-talk and self-doubt on her motivation. She sought out feedback from a trusted colleague, and was willing to learn from her mistakes. She considered the pluses and minuses of her approach. Accurate self-assessment made her positive and confident. Before we close, let us briefly look at how we can strengthen our self-awareness. First, there are several personality questionnaires or psychometric tests that measure your behavioral preferences and personality profiles. Self-assessment using instruments like big five personality questionnaires. NBTI, this profile and can yield patterns of your behavior. Where those patterns may work to your advantage and where the same pattern can turn out to be a limiting factor. You can gain insights on how you approach problem solving, conflict management, influence, social relations, and so on. Second, 360 degree assessments, seek evaluation from your superiors, colleagues, subordinates, and significant others so that you can gain some insights on how you are perceived from multiple perspectives. They can help you uncover some blind spots. These are aspects that are not known to you, but are perceived by others. You don't have to necessarily wait for a formal 360 degree assessment to gain insights from others. You can solicit feedback from your colleagues and team members on an informal basis in a one on one meeting. When you have these frank conversations on a periodic basis with a variety of stakeholders, you pick up honest and valuable feedback that can substantially contribute to greater self-awareness. When you receive feedback it is important to resist the temptation to explain yourself. Your intention should be to understand the perceptions and gain insights on what behaviors may have caused those perceptions. Another method of developing self-awareness is referred to as journaling. It is the practice of self-discovery by writing to yourself for a short time during the day you pay mindful attention to your thoughts and emotions, as they arise. And write those down in a journal, without trying to judge them. Research shows that spending just a few minutes on this practice, on a regular basis, goes a long way to not only enhancing your self-awareness, but also your well being and overall effectiveness. By pursuing self-awareness with real motivation, and following it up with conscious and consistent efforts, you create a strong foundation for personal growth effectiveness and effective leadership.
