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In the last few lessons,
we discussed some of the challenges that
some people with high sensation seeking personalities have.
We talked about how high sensation seeking impacts love and emotional intelligence.
Given the personality aspects of high sensation seeking,
you might wonder if high sensation seeking causes problems with relationships.
In this lesson, we'll discuss some of the common questions I
get about the relationships of high sensation seekers.
Let's start with loyalty.
To high sensation seekers have added
difficulty remaining loyal to friends and keeping promises.
Now, I know it might seem that some high sensation seekers are unpredictable.
Especially those with high scores and boredom susceptibility and disinhibition.
However, sensational thinking isn't necessarily related to loyalty.
In fact, some of the high sensation seekers I've
met are some of the most loyal people I've come across,
and they really like helping others. Here's another.
With many high sensation seekers scoring high in boredom susceptibility,
do they often become bored with familiar friends the way they might with sexual partners?
Particularly, if the novelty of chill seekers or other dissimilar people wears off?
The research suggests that high sensation seekers are just as
likely to be friends with chill seekers as thrill seekers.
In fact, I think that some really like
shocking the chill seekers with the stories of their exploits.
But I can imagine that some of them can get bored with friends,
if they have high scores and boredom susceptibility.
Here's one last question.
Are they sometimes so outgoing that they might come off as aggressive,
obnoxious, or rude to others?
Like all of us, the interpersonal style of
some high sensation seekers reflects their personality.
Getting people to disclose private details of their lives,
pushing hot button topics,
or even telling risque jokes are techniques that
sensation seekers employ to make their interactions more stimulating.
In fact, sensation seekers are more likely to pick a topic
of conversation that they know will create disagreement,
and they valued difference and conflict as a source of stimulation.
They can be intense conversationalists,
they stand closer when they talk,
make longer eye contact,
and are more emotionally expressive during conversations.
Now, I know it may sound as though I'm painting
a grim picture of the high sensation seeking person in relationships.
I don't really mean it that way.
Some sensation seekers behave differently in relationships.
And that might mean that people who are interested in
long term relationships with high sensation seekers
could benefit from finding shared interests that
can lead to excitement and discovery for both people.
This may be particularly important for
sensation seekers with high levels of boredom susceptibility.
There's an upside. It seems as though
sensations seeking can can also enhance relationships too.
We'll discuss that in our next lesson.
Kenneth CarterProfessor of Psychology
